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The Grauniad are running a nicely cheeky competition to tie in with the imminent arrival of Potter6. Fed up with all the “oh, but which major character’s going to die?” malarkey, they’ve decided the rumours are true and that Dumbledore will be shuffling off fairly shortly. They want readers to pre-empt the book, and provide about 300 words of Dumbledore’s death, in the style of a famous, non-Rowling writer.

Naturally, my entry utterly failed to be either a) prose, or b) 300 words long:

This Is Just To Say

I have killed
the wizard
who was in
your novels

and whose death
you were probably
saving
for book seven

Forgive me
he had it coming
so beardy
and so old
*