A very happy NaMcSweLiWriAf to you
THE SECRETS OF MY SUCCESS
Idleness
Distractibility
Unassertiveness
Prevarication
Half-heartedness
Extremely low standards for defining “success”
PHRASES TO AVOID AT YOUR JOB INTERVIEW
“In my previous employment, I consistently exceeded my targets and oversaw a three-year period of uninterrupted forward progress, as the Dark Lord willed it.”
“I was in charge of a small, close-knit team, working to a set of highly specific briefs, in preparation for the imminent Time of Blood”
“The purification rituals were my own initiative.”
“I think my greatest satisafaction in work has come from achieving a complex set of target-focused goals on a multi-level blue-sky project with a strong client-side emphasis. Oh – it involved gouging. Did I mention that? Blue-sky gouging. Client-oriented.”
“I worked diligently to earn my colleagues’ fear.”
“In five years time, I see myself sat atop a golden throne, weeping at the beauty of the desolation that has been wrought.”
“My greatest strength? I dunno. Is despising the weak a strength? I think it is. Yes, almost certainly that.”
“I went to Oxford.”
Hmm. Interesting. I went against what I said and gave NaNoWriMo a go this week, actually, during a free period. “Love in the time of Athlete’s Foot” was abandoned after two paragraphs.
Comment by Ben — November 5, 2005 @ 10:30 pm