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Justin ChickenYoghurt has clearly got some kind of zoological imagery related bet going on…

A svelte Safety Elephant sashaying into the sunshine would be a sight indeed… incongruousy and comedically perched on his head like a seashell atop a hot air balloon… If the BBC had made a chimp do it the animal rights lobby would have gone berserk… out of ideas, flapping and gaping like a landed fish, long years of opposition inexorably opening up before it like an elderly hippo being homed in on by a ravenous crocodile… Anybody able to pick up a newspaper… is a miner’s canary.

Mammals, molluscs, fish, reptiles, birds. What Justin’s got against amphibians, marsupials and arthropods, three cruelly under-represented animal groups, I don’t know.

A quick memo to anybody writing sci-fi or fantasy fiction (or, in fact, any kind of fiction) about something to avoid in your Big Important Finale:

If your Big Important Finale relies on the fact that your heroes understand “the power of Love” for its resolution, it will be shit.

It is very important that you understand this.

Yes, we realise that you want your Big Threat’s major flaw to be something meaningful, rather than a space station that blows up too easily, or an unexpected allergy to an everyday household product. And yes, there are valid reasons for wanting your heroes to save the day via some quality of their inner being, rather than their abiltity to jump over big gaps or their proficiency at electrical engineering.

But please don’t make it the power of Love thing. Please. Consider the following:

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Sternest Meanings – Conversations with an anagrambot:

webuser: Hello, Sternest.
sternest: Hot, relentless.
webuser: Yeah, I suppose I am.
sternest: I am a shoe yuppies.
webuser: That as well!
sternest: Law stealth.
webuser: I think that’s pushing it a bit.
sternest: Inhabit up this skintight at.
webuser: I’d rather not, but thanks.
sternest: Heartthrob’s kind taunt.
webuser: Oooh, you big tease.
sternest: Hooey! Taboo guise.
webuser: Man, you’ve seen right through me.
sternest: Introvert huge, mega hush money.
webuser: Fuck, you’re more perceptive than my therapist.
sternest: Up-market vehemency or up ferocity. The rapist.
webuser: Yep, that sums him up pretty well. (more…)

COLOGNE, EXCLUSIVE – A schoolboy today spoke of his upset when he found out that his dream of going to the World Cup had been based on a scam.

Theo, 17, had been promised that not only would he have a holiday in Germany, but that he would actually get to go to the tournament.

However, once he was in Germany, Theo discovered that there had never been a place available for him at the match… (cont. on page 94)