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I think we might be entering the calm after the web storm that followed the unveiling of the unspeakably hideous London 2012 logo today. Aside from all the Lisa Simpson jokes, swastika rearrangements and stealth goatses, there’s really very little to add to Chris’s excellent, spot-on dissection of why it isn’t just a eye-buggeringly ugly design, but one that manifestly fails to achieve its stated goals.

But – as a Londoner who is actually quite excited, albeit from a rather sceptical and pessimistic perspective, about the Games – what was almost more distressing than the day-glo fellatiform abomination of the logo was the irredeemably vacuous guff spouted by Coe and co at the launch. So I’m going to slag that off instead.

The new emblem is dynamic, modern and flexible reflecting a brand savvy world where people, especially young people, no longer relate to static logos but respond to a dynamic brand that works with new technology and across traditional and new media networks.

It’s not just that this is buzzword-laden marketing arse talk. It’s not even that that it’s deeply unimaginative, badly written arse (using “dynamic” twice in one sentence? Hire. A. Copy. Editor.) It’s that it actively, almost aggressively, has no connection whatsoever to the actual emblem they’re talking about. Or, indeed, to reality.
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You know the trouble with this country? Businesses are being stifled under a flood of petty bureaucracy, a litigation culture, and politically correct nonsense! I mean, now it turns out three out of four offices won’t even put tinsel up for fear of offending non-Christians! It’s true:

Christmas decorations have been banned by almost three out of four UK employers, for fear of offending staff from other faiths, a survey says… Bosses also felt that Christmas trees and tinsel made offices unprofessional, said employment law experts Peninsula.

And as if that wasn’t enough for the PC brigade, now the Health & Safety Nazis want to ban Christmas parties!

Nine in 10 UK employers are vetoing the Christmas party this year to prevent potential tribunal claims, according to research. The survey of 4,915 companies by employment law consultancy Peninsula BusinessWise showed that most managers fear employees may behave inappropriately and drink too much alcohol at the annual festive celebration.

That’s even worse than last year!

Around 80% of British bosses will not organise an office party this Christmas, in part due to legal hangovers from fighting and flirting at past events. In a year when Wal-Mart tried to ban “lustful glances” in the workplace, OUT-LAW suggests 10 tips for those still eager to celebrate. The finding that Christmas is cancelled comes from a survey of 3,500 businesses by Peninsula Business Services Ltd which also found that 89% of employers have received a harassment complaint after a work party.

It’s a disgrace! As if it wasn’t already enough that the red tape imposed on businesses is slowly strangling them:

The introduction of ‘family friendly’ legislation has created even more havoc for small firms. Nine out of ten small-business employers believe that the recent changes to employment laws will damage their firms, according to Peninsula, the employment-law adviser.

And piling horror on horror, now we have laws preventing discrimination on the grounds of age. What next, I ask you?

The arrival of age-discrimination legislation later this year will cause a big headache for small-business owners, warn employment advisers. Seven out of ten employers are unaware that new age-discrimination rules come into force this October, according to a survey by Peninsula, the employment-law consultancy.

No wonder so many businesspeople are getting pissed at lunchtime. As you can see, it is a proven fact that the politically correct madness of doing stuff like banning discrimination is sucking the very lifeblood out of our economy. Only well paid employment-law consultancies stand between them and ruin. WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE EMPLOYMENT-LAW CONSULTANCIES?

You couldn’t make it up, I tell you.